OPEN UP TO LOVE AGAIN-DEFAULT SETTING

You know you can't take it no more, I wouldn't say you should. You can never find love, I wouldn't say you can not. You can say there's no hope, but who I'm I to affirm that,what if...

Everyone got a story, a gist, a long time discussion even a presentation that fully describes there journey of pain with different people in this cruel world but I woke one day and said to myself, I need a success story too(which mean others have attained it too), I know I need love, I know I want to love and I'll do it.

From my experience of two brutal failed relationships let say 10years all together, I'm supposed to retire and just tell myself I'm done! This is not an inspirational articule, at least not yet. No. It's to tell you to try. I'm still trying.

I don't want to know your pain but everyone even those that hurt you are looking forward to seeing your happy ending, why not let Bella Naija carry our own love story in it's source from two genuine people.

Firstly, you need to find happiness in yourself no matter what!!! I may not know the exact way you feel but I know somehow you're not angry at the betrayal anymore but you're even more angry at yourself for not seeing the mess ahead. The mistakes were delivered, maybe to teach us something. The way I found happiness was to look at pictures of the old me when I used to be bright and beautiful and wondered at how happy I looked alone in those pictures and what triggered them. The pictures reminded me of old hobbies like drawing and painting, knitting and how much I visited friends a lot and I stopped all of that to spend the entire time with one person or some people that I forgot myself until I had to remind myself, continuously doing that.

Secondly, instead of shutting out on people decide to take a second look. An adage says "to identify a female rat, you have to look again". People ain't the same everywhere but can be somewhere but take a look again. Taking a look again made me realize man & study men in different situation, and I learned the following;

1. Man is selfish naturally

2. Man is self center( they're different,read recent post)

3. Man is not naturally sacrificial

4. Even a bad man has something to say to back up his wickedness

5. Man(not women) is not naturally made to care

6. Many lacks sensitivity

7. Man is naturally wicked

8. Man would not do anything for another if it's not beneficial to him

9. Man cheats

10. Man loves change, in all ways.

After deducing these things, including myself I asked God a question. I said "God, my father in heaven you're praised but why is man naturally wicked?" I was shocked I got a response almost immediately,wished I asked for lots and lots of money at that time but I heard God spoke clearly that day saying "why is it that you kill an ant that is not heading to your direction on the road while walking?" I thought about it and my answer was nothing. It was then I knew I was part of the natural wicked Man. We just do things that hurts the other but many have no reason to hurt but they still hurt anyways but in all there are persons who have consciously taken time to morally build themselves and no matter the pressure they'll never do anything of such. I am a living testimony by God's grace, I find it hard to hurt people. They exist, be the one you want to see in people.

Thirdly, add value to yourself. For those of you abroad may not understand how critical this is but for those in a tight economy will do properly. A man once told me "no one will keep up a relationship with a complete liability".

It took time to sink. But because man is naturally greedy, they expect you to fend and take care of the most essential part of your life without having them sacrifice. Add value to yourself. Adding values can be in different ways but it is simply investing in yourself, creating a net worth for yourself, having a network of your own, being independent of no one except on rare cases.

Take these and remember your case is different but ours is similar. Take your time to remember you, remember the real you you've lost. For there was no reason to hurt you and there will never be.

Moyosoluwa.